VP Profiles: Kristie Atkins & Emma Meehan

26 Jan

I’m bleeding from at least three different spots on my head, one of my shoes have gone missing and I haven’t even started drinking yet. I figured I better get the blogging out of the way now before I get high enough to appreciate the EUSA elections. With some luck I might get the VPSA contest out of my mind so I stop having nightmares about it.

One of the millions of VPSA candidates for the upcoming election appears to be a certain Kristie Atkins. Or Kristen Atkins. She doesn’t seem to be able to decide.

Kristien is, surprise surprise, already involved in EUSA. That is, assuming at least one of her two campaigns last year was successful. Which one of them probably was, seeing as she is is now aiming for one of the ultimate positions within our United Student Association. She is also American, but I’m only going to hold that against her if I ever hear her talk.

I have to respect her for playing up to the American stereotype by intentially insrting at least two speling or grammer mistakes into her blurb when running for post-graduate something or other. I couldn’t get through the blurb for the other position. I got too hungry.

Sadly she will probably be campaigning against a few other people. One of whom is Emma Meehan, a literature and philosophy student. At least we now know she can read and think. Hopefully at the same time.

She had a campaign last year where she invited people to “Vote Emma Meehan #1 for SRC Ordinary Rep and COM Exec (retail)!”

I can only assume this is written in some kind of EUSA secret code. Or perhaps it is a literature thing. Anyhow, it goes right over my head, and my head is pretty fucking huge.

It seems her interests revolve around “being involved”, and she makes a living from dressing up as glowsticks and selling freshers.

I could go through her campaign promises, but I’ve read through quite a lot by this point. In fact, I feel qualified to sum up every set of campaign promises ever written by anyone. “I promise to represent YOU! YOU aren’t represented enough! If YOU want to be represented you should vote for ME! I will make YOUR voice heard!”

Those are two of the VPSA candidates. Now, if only someone could tell someone outside of EUSA what the hell a VPSA actually is and does, perhaps we would be qualified to make a rational decision about who to fucking vote for.

Actually, never mind about what they actually do. I am sure Emma’s colourful posters and Kristie’s colorful posters will give us a completely accurate indication of who will make the best Vice President of “S” and fucking “A”.

I fucking hate posters. And colours.


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